December 5th was International Volunteer Day.
We want to express our heartfelt gratitude to all those who generously give their time and energy. đ
Your commitment makes an incredible difference in our communities and inspires all of us to contribute to a better world. Thank you for your dedication and your heart! đ
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Témoignage de Valérie
Câest encore plus particulier lorsque nous avons la malchance dâavoir un parent qui nous a entraĂźnĂ©s dans lâindustrie du sexe et qui a contribuĂ© Ă nous y maintenir, en ne voulant pas mieux pour nous. Mon pĂšre a Ă©tĂ© portier dans les clubs de danseuses nues quand il Ă©tait plus jeune et a toujours entretenu une vie de âpornophileââ compulsif quâil cachait Ă peine. Ă la suite du divorce de mes parents, ce dernier est venu habiter avec moi Ă MontrĂ©al et est rapidement devenu mon chauffeur dans lâindustrie du sexe. Je nâavais que 17 ans. Le reste de ma famille Ă©tait mal Ă lâaise avec le sujet, ils le sont toujours dâailleurs, et nâont rien fait pour contrebalancer les codes et rĂ©fĂ©rences malsaines que je recevais de mon pĂšre.
Quâest-ce quâon fait avec un tel parcours ? Pour plusieurs dâentre nous, la seule façon dây donner du sens est de tenter de redonner aux suivantes et dâĆuvrer vers un monde sans exploitation sexuelle. AprĂšs de longues annĂ©es de thĂ©rapie, notamment sur la colĂšre et pour gĂ©rer les consĂ©quences post-traumatiques de lâexploitation sexuelle, jâen suis venue Ă vouloir donner un sens Ă mon parcours. Je suis devenue confĂ©renciĂšre et formatrice en prĂ©vention de lâexploitation sexuelle, en plus de travailler comme intervenante pour diverses ressources communautaires.
Des annĂ©es plus tard, jâai souhaitĂ© obtenir une injonction de la Cour pour forcer mon pĂšre Ă garder ses distances avec moi. Ă mes yeux, les lois sont dĂ©suĂštes et nâoffrent pas suffisamment de recours ou de protection aux femmes dont le schĂ©ma prostitutionnel sâĂ©loigne de celui du proxĂ©nĂšte standard, violent et qui prend tout votre argent. Comme mon pĂšre ne prenait aucun argent de ma part, la police mâa avisĂ© que je nâavais aucun recours pour le forcer Ă rester Ă distance puisquâil nâavait pas Ă©tĂ© mon proxĂ©nĂšte au sens clair de la loi. MisĂšreâŠ! Ce que mon pĂšre en retirait, câĂ©tait plus de vivre sa vie âpornophilieâ de rĂȘve autour de moi, de frĂ©quenter ce milieu, ce type de femme (mes amies), ce type dâhomme (ceux qui travaillent dans les clubs), de se trouver des petits boulots (mĂ©nage dans des clubs de danseuses, dans des donjons et ĂȘtre chauffeur) dans cet environnement toxique.
MĂȘme lâIVAC (indemnisation des victimes d’actes criminels) commence Ă peine Ă reconnaĂźtre les femmes victimes du systĂšme prostitutionnel et de proxĂ©nĂ©tisme comme des victimes. Je suis dâavis que le message dangereux et banalisant âque le travail du sexe est un travailââ a eu comme effet pervers de flouter et dâamalgamer les risques et dangers de lâexploitation sexuelle avec les normes du travail, plutĂŽt quâavec celles protĂ©geant les victimes dâactes criminels.
Je le rĂ©pĂšte, on ne peut pas simultanĂ©ment prĂ©tendre que câest un âtravailââ tout en en dĂ©nonçant la violence inhĂ©rente et systĂ©mique du systĂšme prostitutionnel mange-vie. Les facteurs communs et connus prĂ©disposant lâentrĂ©e en prostitution et les consĂ©quences psychotraumatiques communes Ă toutes les personnes en situation de prostitution sont terriblement bien documentĂ©s par de nombreuses recherches (voir notamment le travail de Melissa Farley, chercheuse, et ceux dâIngeborg Kraus et Muriel Salmona, psychotraumatologues). Câest pourquoi les survivantes qui ont procĂ©dĂ© Ă une analyse lucide post-sortie de lâindustrie du sexe tentent maintenant tant bien que mal de mettre en garde les femmes de ne pas y entrer tout banalement, puisquâil est justement si difficile dâen sortir et dâobtenir une aide adĂ©quate. Et de toute façon, de quel autre âmĂ©tierââ doit-on obtenir de l’aide pour âen sortirâââŠ?
Jâai pour ma part prĂšs de 20 ans de sortie de l’industrie du sexe. Dans les annĂ©es qui ont suivi, j’ai acquis une expertise en itinĂ©rance chronique ainsi quâen accompagnement aux survivantes Ă la sortie de la prostitution. Jâai eu la chance dâeffectuer un remplacement de 2 semaines pour lâorganisme La Sortie Ă lâĂ©tĂ© 2019 et de constater la marge de manĆuvre quâon laisse Ă la compĂ©tence de lâintervenante de milieu pour quâelle puisse personnaliser son accompagnement aux besoins et au rythme de la personne aidĂ©e en lâorientant vers un processus de sortie qui lui convient Ă elle, en tout respect de ses choix. De nombreuses femmes devront faire plusieurs allers-retours dans lâindustrie du sexe avant dâĂȘtre prĂȘtes Ă en sortir.
Si la gestion du sentiment dâimpuissance nâest pas une chose que vous maĂźtrisez bien, ce type de travail dâaccompagnement nâest pas fait pour vous. Nous savons quâun des facteurs garants de succĂšs est dâaider la femme Ă se reconstruire une identitĂ© autre que celle de la femme prostituĂ©e. La sortie de ce milieu qui nous limite, qui affecte notre estime de soi et nous insuffle des codes de conduite si marginaux, une tolĂ©rance si inhabituelle Ă la peur, au dĂ©gout et Ă la violence, est en total dĂ©calage avec les attentes du monde âânormalââ.
En clair, tout ce que nous apprenons pour naviguer les attentes de la prostitution ne nous servent Ă peu prĂšs Ă rien Ă lâextĂ©rieur de cet univers malsain et dangereux. C’est pour ça que les femmes retournent souvent vers la sĂ©curitĂ© de ce quâelles connaissent. Il est autrement impossible, sans la reconstruction du soi, dâespĂ©rer une sortie durable de ce milieu. Il est question dâaider les femmes Ă se reconnecter avec leurs compĂ©tences et ambitions propres Ă elles, de les aider Ă se remĂ©morer ce quâelles rĂȘvaient de devenir quand elles Ă©taient toutes petites, de favoriser la reconstruction dâun rĂ©seau de soutien en dehors de lâindustrie du sexe.
Moi je rĂȘvais de changer le monde et Ă ma façon aujourdâhui, jây contribue. Un accueil, une Ă©coute et un acte de partage pĂ©dagogique bienveillant Ă la fois. La Sortie reconnaĂźt la valeur des paires aidantes et selon quâelles ont aussi une formation gĂ©nĂ©rale adĂ©quate, privilĂ©gieront lâembauche de femmes ayant un vĂ©cu en lien avec la prostitution. Trop peu dâorganismes ont ce courage bien placĂ©.
Merci pour votre attention et bonne continuité à La Sortie dans sa mission.
TĂ©moignage de Carole
La premiĂšre agence d’escorte dans laquelle j’ai Ă©tĂ© m’a rapidement maltraitĂ©e. Selon eux, pour garder ââma placeââ je devais parfois fournir davantage dâheures ou moins, dĂ©pendamment de leur dĂ©sir dâessayer dâautres femmes ou non.
Jâai changĂ© dâagence malgrĂ© leurs menaces et il me fallait alors redonner plus de 50% de mes gains Ă l’agence et au revendeur de drogues qui mâobligeait, en collaboration avec cette agence, Ă en acheter. Au dĂ©but je ne la consommais pas, mais peu de temps aprĂšs je me suis mise Ă le faire. Ils mâont ainsi prise au piĂšge, jây retournais toujours, jâĂ©tais devenue accrochĂ©e Ă la drogue et jâavais peur dâeux.
Au fil du temps, j’ai perdu la garde de mes enfants, fait des sĂ©jours en psychiatrie et en prison, connu l’itinĂ©rance, fait des tentatives de suicide, subi de la maltraitance par des policiers, des agences et des clients, perdu mon estime personnelle, ma confiance, ma santĂ©… J’ai dĂ©veloppĂ© une dĂ©pendance aux drogues dures et j’ai Ă©tĂ© involontairement intoxiquĂ©es au GHB, j’ai subi de nombreux viols et connu toutes les formes de violences possibles. C’est un aperçu des consĂ©quences que la prostitution a eu sur moi rapidement, mais il y a aussi des consĂ©quences Ă long terme que je rencontre encore aujourd’hui.
J‘Ă©tais presque morte quand j’ai rencontrĂ© une intervenante de milieu. Jâai tout de suite Ă©tĂ© en confiance auprĂšs d’elle. Jâai appris que je nâĂ©tais pas seule Ă vivre ces hauts et ces bas dans la sortie de la traite humaine et jâai trouvĂ© un sens Ă ma vie.
Les intervenantes de lâorganisme que jâai frĂ©quentĂ© mâont soutenue nuit et jour. Je m’y suis fait de nouvelles amies qui avaient elles aussi vĂ©cu lâexploitation sexuelle. Par leur tĂ©moignage et leurs encouragements, elles mâont donnĂ© la conviction que je pouvais moi aussi vivre sans crainte et mâĂ©panouir.
Avec de lâaide, jâai retrouvĂ© mes forces, mes qualitĂ©s, mes aptitudes⊠Jâai participĂ© Ă plusieurs activitĂ©s, sorties, ateliers, confĂ©rences, loisirs, groupes dâentraide… Je me suis aussi impliquĂ©e dans l’organisation des assemblĂ©es gĂ©nĂ©rales et sur le conseil dâadministration.
Jâai connu beaucoup de monde ; des groupes de femmes, des bĂ©nĂ©voles, des professionnels, des artistes, des professeurs, des gens de tous les milieux et de partout sur la planĂšte qui appuient les femmes prises dans l’industrie du sexe et les survivantes qui se battent pour en sortir.
Jâai appris comment je peux soigner mes traumatismes. Jâai reçu des soins incomparables et personnalisĂ©s. Les intervenantes de lâorganisme sont qualifiĂ©es pour aider les femmes Ă sortir de la prostitution, et ce Ă tous les niveaux. Les formations disponibles dans ces annĂ©es- lĂ Ă©taient plus rares et la volontĂ©, la dĂ©termination et lâefficacitĂ© pour mâaider Ă travers de ce long processus fut remarquable.
Jâai aussi Ă©tĂ© accompagnĂ©e pour reprendre contact avec mes enfants. Mon intervenante mâa soutenue Ă travers cette dĂ©marche dĂ©licate et Ă©mouvante. Elle mâa accompagnĂ©e Ă mes rendez-vous avec la DPJ. Je suis ensuite retournĂ©e Ă lâUniversitĂ© et au travail.
AprĂšs quelques annĂ©es de rĂ©tablissement, j’ai connu Le CAFES, (Collectif dâaide aux femmes exploitĂ©es sexuellement) via une de ses fondatrices, Rose Sullivan, qui donnait un atelier auquel je participais. Elle mâa aidĂ©e alors que jâĂ©tais sur le bord de la psychose, hyper vigilante, perdue au coin de ma rue comme si j’Ă©tais en terre inconnue… Elle mâa accueillie chez elle et tout naturellement, elle m’a partagĂ© son quotidien, ses dĂ©marches pour aller mieux et aider d’autres femmes. Je suis revenue rapidement dans le monde rĂ©el. Elle est devenue mon amie et avec ses rĂ©fĂ©rences, j’ai accĂ©dĂ© Ă un autre groupe Ă MontrĂ©al et jâai reçu une merveilleuse formation pour devenir paire-aidante. De pouvoir animer des ateliers thĂ©matiques, parler de la ressource aux autres organismes et au public, dâĂȘtre outillĂ©e pour savoir comment mieux accompagner une femme qui veut sortir de la prostitution, ça mâa donnĂ© un super sentiment dâaccomplissement et ça m’a aidĂ© Ă continuer ce long processus de sortie de la prostitution.
Les rencontres en individuel aussi par des intervenantes expĂ©rimentĂ©es et humaines mâont fait voir que je suis en sĂ©curitĂ©, soutenue, encouragĂ©e et accompagnĂ©e pour tous mes besoins.
Ă lâextĂ©rieur des ressources spĂ©cialisĂ©es pour les femmes victimes dâexploitation sexuelle, Ă©normĂ©ment de gens craignent de voir la rĂ©alitĂ© qui nous entoure au niveau de la prostitution et malheureusement plusieurs professionnels ne savent pas encore de quoi il en retourne.
Je me souviens dâune psychiatre qui mâa demandĂ© sur un ton trĂšs agressif, et cela des annĂ©es aprĂšs ma sortie de la prostitution : ââ Pourquoi as-tu fait de la prostitution ??? ââ et ââ Tu ne cherches quâĂ attirer lâattentionââ alors que je consultais en urgence pour un Ă©tat dĂ©pressif. Je lui ai rĂ©pondu : ââ Alors madame, sachez bien que ce nâest pas simple du tout⊠ââ, mais elle ne mâĂ©coutait pas du tout et avant que je puisse rĂ©pondre elle posait une autre question. Son entretien a Ă©tĂ© trĂšs bref. Comment est-ce que je peux faire confiance Ă ce genre dâintervention oĂč je me suis sentie mal jugĂ©e et mal aidĂ©e ? Je souhaite pouvoir faire davantage confiance aux professionnels de notre sociĂ©tĂ©.
Au niveau du logement jâai trouvĂ© ça trĂšs, trĂšs difficile. Avec tout ce que jâai vĂ©cu, je me suis retrouvĂ©e Ă ĂȘtre hypervigilante mĂȘme dans mon logement et mes peurs me rendaient parfois confuse et dĂ©sorientĂ©e. Effectivement les abuseurs de la traite humaine (les prostitueurs) nâont pas lĂąchĂ© leur emprise sur moi avant plusieurs annĂ©es. Les policiers Ă©taient souvent mal informĂ©s et mĂ©disants, parfois mĂȘme sournois, voire complices, lorsque jâai eu Ă leur demander de lâaide. Par chance que maintenant les nouveaux policiers, les plus jeunes sont mieux informĂ©s et motivĂ©s. En effet le corps de police de la Ville de QuĂ©bec ainsi que plusieurs intervenants de groupes communautaires ont reçu de la formation offerte par les ressources pour femmes exploitĂ©es sexuellement pour les aider Ă savoir comment intervenir auprĂšs des victimes dâexploitation sexuelle.
Beaucoup de femmes ont accepté de témoigner sur leur vécu lors de ces formations. Je vois une amélioration à ce niveau, mais pendant longtemps je fuyais, changeant de milieu de vie fréquemment.
Aujourdâhui je peux dire que je vis bien. Je suis prĂ©caire financiĂšrement et jâhabite dans un quartier oĂč il y a de la pauvretĂ© et de la criminalitĂ©, mais je me sens en sĂ©curitĂ© dans mon milieu de vie encadrĂ©, avec un contact Ă©troit d’intervenants-es en santĂ© mentale et de groupe dâaide aux femmes victimes de la traite humaine et de lâexploitation sexuelle.
Jâai appris comment ĂȘtre et me sentir en sĂ©curitĂ© sans ĂȘtre hyper vigilante. De plus, avec l’aide d’une intervenante jâai rĂ©ussi Ă obtenir un mandat de lâIVAC pour recevoir de la psychothĂ©rapie. La psychothĂ©rapeute que je vois une fois par semaine depuis plus dâun an mâa grandement aidĂ©e. Elle mâaide avec mes traumatismes, et comme ça va de mieux en mieux, lâIVAC nous permet de renouveler le mandat. Souvent câest difficile, jâai trĂ©buchĂ© de nombreuses fois, ça prend du temps, mais je me dĂ©courage moins souvent quâavant devant toutes ces difficultĂ©s, car jâai appris comment y faire face. Je nâhĂ©site pas Ă demander de lâaide au besoin. Je suis devenue autonome face Ă mes problĂšmes et je connais mes ressources.
Je dis MERCI et je suis trĂšs reconnaissante de toute lâaide que jâai reçue et de tout le monde qui participe Ă ces projets, que ce soient des organismes comme La Sortie, ou des survivantes impliquĂ©es comme Rose Sullivan. Il faut plusieurs ressources et plusieurs personnes qui travaillent ensemble pour aider les survivantes, car nos besoins lorsque nous sortons de la prostitution sont extrĂȘmement nombreux.
Carole’s story
The first escort agency I worked in mistreated me and in order to keep “my place”, they told me I had to put in more or less hours, depending on whether they wanted to try other women or not.
Despite their threats, I changed agencies. Here, I had to give back more than 50% of my earnings to the agency and to the drug dealer who forced me, in collaboration with this agency, to buy from them. At first I didn’t use the drugs, but soon after I started to do so. I was soon trapped me, always going back. I got hooked on drugs and I was afraid of them.
Over time, I lost custody of my children, spent time in psychiatric care and in prison, experienced homelessness, attempted suicide, suffered abuse by police, agencies and clients, lost my self-esteem, my confidence and my health. I developed an addiction to hard drugs and I was involuntarily intoxicated with GHB. I have suffered numerous rapes and experienced all possible forms of violence. This is a glimpse of the consequences prostitution had on me, in addition to some of the long term consequences that I still suffer from today.
I was almost dead when I met a community worker. I was immediately trusted her and learned that I was not alone in going through these ups and downs when coming out of human trafficking. Right there I found meaning in my life.
The workers from the organization I visited have supported me day and night. I made new friends there, individuals who had also experienced sexual exploitation. Through their testimony and their encouragement, I was given confidence that I too can live without fear and flourish.
With their help, I found my strengths, my qualities and talents. I took part in several activities, outings, workshops, conferences and support groups. I also got involved in the organization, was part of general meetings and was soon on the board of directors.
I have known a lot of people; womensâ groups, volunteers, professionals, artists, teachers, people from all walks of life and around the world, people who support women caught up in the sex industry as well as survivors who are struggling to get out of it.
I learned how I can heal my trauma. I received personalized care beyond compare. The organizationâs workers are qualified to help women exit prostitution at all levels. At that time, the training available was scarce but the will, determination and efficiency to help me through this long process was remarkable.
I was also accompanied to reconnect with my children. My counselor supported me through this delicate and emotional process. She accompanied me to my appointments with the DYP. I then returned to university and to work.
After a few years of recovery, I got to know Le CAFES ( a collective helping sexually exploited women) through one of its founders, Rose Sullivan, who was giving a workshop in which I participated. She helped me when I was on the verge of psychosis, hyper vigilant, lost at the corner of my street as if I was in an unknown land. She welcomed me into her home and quite naturally, she invited me into her daily life, including her efforts in trying to get better and thus help other women. I quickly returned to the real world. She became my friend and with her references I joined another group in Montreal and received wonderful training to become a peer support worker. I learned how to lead thematic workshops and how to talk about the resources to other organizations as well as to the public. I became equipped and learned how better support a woman who wants to get out of prostitution. This gave me a great feeling of accomplishment and helped me to continue the long process involved in coming out of prostitution.
The individual meetings with the experienced and caring intervention workers have helped me feel safe, supported, encouraged and provided for where my needs are concerned.
Outside of specialized resources for women victims of sexual exploitation, many people fear seeing the reality that surrounds us at the level of prostitution and unfortunately many professionals do not yet know what it is all about.
I was once in an emergency clinic for depression and I remember a psychiatrist asking me in a very aggressive tone, years after leaving prostitution: “Why did you get into prostitution?â and ââ Youâre just looking for attention.” I responded, âJust know that itâs not easy at all maâamâ, but she wasnât listening to me at all and before I could answer she was asking another question. The session was very brief. How can I trust this kind of intervention where, besides being judged, I wasnât helped at all? I wish we could trust the professionals of our community more.
In terms of accommodation, I found it very, very difficult. With everything I went through, I found myself being hyper-vigilant even in my accommodation. I had fears that sometimes confused and disoriented me. Indeed the abusers of human trafficking still had a hold on me for several years. When I had to ask for help, the police were often misinformed and slanderous, sometimes even sneaky, even complicit. Luckily, now the new, younger police officers, are better informed and motivated. The Quebec City police force as well as several community group workers have received training offered by certain organizational resources for sexually exploited women, in order to help them know how to intervene with and help victims of sexual exploitation.
Many women have agreed to testify about their experiences during these trainings. I see this as an improvement because for a long time I was one of those that was fleeing and changing my living environment frequently.
Today I can say that I am living well. Financially, yes, Iâm hanging by a thread and I live in a neighbourhood where there is poverty and crime, but I feel safe in my supervised living environment, having close contact with mental health workers and groups to help women who are victims of human trafficking and sexual exploitation.
I learned how to be and feel safe without being overly vigilant. In addition, with the help of a worker, I managed to get approval to receive psychotherapy from the IVAC. The psychotherapist I have been seeing once a week for over a year has helped me a lot. She helps me with my trauma, and as things get better and better, IVAC allows us to renew the mandate to keep receiving help. Sometimes it is difficult, I have tripped many times, it takes time, but I am less discouraged than before because I have learned how to deal with difficulty. I don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed. I have become independent in the face of my problems and I know my resources.
I am very grateful for all the help I have received and for everyone who is involved in such projects, whether it is organizations like La Sortie or involved survivors like Rose Sullivan. It takes many resources and many people working together to help survivors, as our needs when we come out of prostitution are so many. Thank you.
ValĂ©rie’s story
Itâs even more marked when we are unlucky enough to have a parent who has dragged us into the sex industry and helped us stay there, wanting nothing better for us. My dad was a doorman at nude dance clubs when he was younger and always had a life of compulsive pornography, one that he barely hid. Following my parentsâ divorce, my father came to live with me in Montreal and quickly became the one that drove me my into the sex industry. I was only 17 years old. The rest of my family was uncomfortable with the subject, they still are, yet did nothing to counteract the unhealthy life my father was leading me into.
What do we do when this happens to us? For many of us, the only way to make sense of it is to try to give back and work towards a world free of sexual exploitation. After many years of therapy where I dealt with my anger issues as well as the post-traumatic consequences that resulted from sexual exploitation, I have come to want to make sense of my journey. I did this by becoming a speaker and trainer working in the prevention of sexual exploitation, in addition to working as an advocate for various community resources.
Years later, I ordered a restraining order for my father to keep his distance from me. In my view, the laws are outdated and do not provide sufficient recourses or protection for women whose prostitution schema deviates from that of the standard one depicted as a violent pimp taking all the victimâs money. Since my father was not taking any money from me, nor had he been my pimp as defined by the law, the police told me that I didnât have the option to force him to stay away. What miseryâŠ! As a result, my father continued his desired life of âpornophilia’ around me, associating himself with this toxic environment, surrounded by women (who were my friends), men who worked in the clubs as well as finding odd jobs cleaning clubs and concealed sites, in addition to working as a driver.
Even the IVAC (Compensation for Victims of Crime) barely recognizes women victims of the prostitution and pimping system as actual victims. I believe that trivialising the message that ‘sex work is work’ is dangerous as it has a perverse effect of blurring and confusing the dangers of sexual exploitation with labor standards. It should rather be protecting them, seeing them as victims of crime.
Again, one cannot claim that it is ‘work’ while disregarding the inherently consuming aspect and systemic violence associated with prostitution. The common and known factors predisposing women to enter into prostitution as well as the psychotraumatic consequences are poorly documented by numerous studies (see in particular the work of researcher Melissa Farley, and that of psychotraumatologists Ingeborg Kraus and Muriel Salmona). For this reason, the survivors who have left the sex industry and have coherently interpreted their situation are now trying to warn women not to enter it, as it is so difficult to leave and get adequate help. What other ‘profession’ does one need ‘help to get out ofâ anyway?
I have been out of the sex industry for almost 20 years now. In the years that followed, I acquired expertise in chronic homelessness as well as in supporting survivors who wished to leave the life of prostitution. In the summer of 2019, I had the opportunity to participate in a 2-week replacement for the organization La Sortie. I observed the scope of how the field worker adapted and personalised their support to meet the needs and pace of the participant, directing them into a process of restoration that suited them and respected their choices. Many women often go back and forth in and out of the sex industry several times before they are finally ready to leave.
If dealing with feelings of helplessness isn’t something you are well acquainted with, this kind of coaching isn’t for you. We know that one of the key factors for success is to help women rebuild an identity other than the one they have built as a sex worker. The process of leaving this limiting environment that affects our self-esteem, leaves us with marginal behaviours such as an unusual tolerance of fear, disgust and violence, is one that is outside the expectations of what the world would consider ânormalâ. Clearly, everything we learn in order to navigate in the world of prostitution is of little use to us outside of this unhealthy and dangerous world. This is why women often return to the security of what they know. It is otherwise impossible, without the reconstruction of the self, to hope for a lasting exit from this environment. It is a question of helping women to reconnect with their own skills and ambitions, of helping them to remember what they dreamed of becoming when they were very young, of promoting the development of a support system outside the sex industry.
I dreamed of changing the world and in my own way, today I am accomplishing that. Itâs one act of kindness at a time, one warm welcome, one moment to listen. La Sortie recognizes the value of peer support workers and, depending on whether they also have adequate general training, will favour the hiring of women with a background in prostitution. Too few organizations have this well-placed courage. Thank you for all you do. Continue the good work!
Chany’s story
My little love nest is located in the basement of a triplex and our only neighbours are those that live upstairs. We have a parking lot, a nice little yard with our patio table, our slide and there is still room to put a small pool for children. My boyfriend and I have plans for the apartment, but until then, we each have our own room and a room for my niece; she is beautiful and I can’t wait for her to come and sleep over.
On December 31st, 2018, Alain asked me to marry him. At the time I was living in a 2 Âœ subsidized apartment with Passage. Today my boyfriend is in therapy. He was sentenced to 5 months in prison because he stole food to support us. While I wait for his release, itâs very difficult for me. However, I did not return to the streets, I search for work, I do odd jobs (housekeeping, etc.).
It’s not easy, I post ads very often. You need to know what you want and when you know you want something, you can have it, you just have to go for it. The streets are not for anyone and everyone can find a way out!. When I was beaten almost to death by a client, it was then that my eyes were opened.
I met a friend recently who told me that, in life, you always have a choice. My boyfriend used to always tell me that too but, back then, I would just laugh!
But it’s true! You must face things head on! You make your own path!
If you find yourself in a situation where you think you have no choice, think about it and tell yourself that it may not be the choice you would have hoped for, but it is still a choice! Being on the streets is also a choice. I chose the streets because it was quick money. At the time I had a stable job, but it wasn’t paying enough. I was a self-employed escort which led me to end up on the streets. I’m not very proud of it, but I’m proud of the fact that I am doing everything to not go back.
One of my reasons for quitting was my boyfriend who helped me a lot.
I met Stéphane (not his real name) who is helping me a lot at the moment. You have to know how to surround yourself with good people, live in a healthy environment where there is little consumption. That helps enormously!
Every step of the way there is help, social workers, counselors, psychologists. They are there to support you and listen to you. I would like to thank the organization La Sortie for their help when I was about to have a relapse. They helped me a lot and supported me in my efforts to get out of this situation.
TĂ©moignage de Chany
Mon petit nid dâamour est situĂ© dans le sous-sol dâun triplex et nos seuls voisins sont ceux dâen haut. On a un stationnement, une belle petite cour avec notre table de patio et notre glissade et il reste de la place pour mettre une petite piscine pour enfants. Mon copain et moi, on a des projets pour lâappartement, mais en attendant, on a chacun notre chambre et une chambre pour mon neveuâ; elle est magnifique et jâai tellement hĂąte quâil vienne dormir Ă la maison.
Le 31 dĂ©cembre 2018, Alain mâa fait sa demande, dans ce temps je vivais dans un 2 Âœ subventionnĂ© avec Passage. Aujourdâhui, mon copain est en thĂ©rapie. Il a Ă©copĂ© de 5 mois de prison, car il volait de la nourriture pour nous faire vivre. En attendant sa sortie, câest trĂšs difficile pour moi. Cependant, je ne suis pas retournĂ©e Ă la rue, je quĂȘte, je fais des petits boulots (mĂ©nage gardiennage, etc.). Ce nâest pas Ă©vident, je publie des annonces trĂšs souvent, mais il faut dâabord le vouloir. Quand on veut, on peut, il faut foncer, savoir ce quâon veut. Le milieu de la rue nâest pour personne et tout le monde peut sâen sortir. Moi quand jâai Ă©tĂ© battue presque Ă mort par un client ça mâa vraiment ouvert les yeux.
Jâai rencontrĂ© un ami derniĂšrement qui mâa dit quâon a toujours le choix dans la vie. Mon copain me le disait toujours et je lui riais au visageâ!
Câest pourtant vrai, regarde les choses en faceâ; ton chemin tu le traces toi-mĂȘmeâ!!
Alors, si tu arrives face Ă une situation oĂč tu penses ne pas avoir le choix, penses-y bien et dis-toi que ce nâest peut-ĂȘtre pas le choix que tu aurais espĂ©rĂ©, mais câest un choix tout de mĂȘmeâ! Se retrouver Ă la rue aussi est un choix. Moi jâai choisi la rue parce que câĂ©tait de lâargent vite fait. Ă lâĂ©poque jâavais un boulot stable, mais ce nâĂ©tait pas assez payant. JâĂ©tais escorte Ă mon compte pour ensuite finir sur la rue. Je nâen suis pas trĂšs fiĂšre, mais je suis fiĂšre de tout faire pour ne pas y retourner.
Une de mes raisons dâarrĂȘter ce fut mon copain qui mâa beaucoup aidĂ©.
Jâai rencontrĂ© StĂ©phane (Nom fictif) qui mâaide beaucoup en ce moment. Il faut savoir sâentourer de bonnes personnes, habiter dans un environnement sain oĂč il y a peu de consommation, ça aide Ă©normĂ©ment!
Il faut savoir quâil y a de lâaide pour faire nos dĂ©marches : Travailleuse sociale, intervenante, psychologue, ils sont prĂ©sents pour te soutenir et tâĂ©couter. Je tiens dâailleurs Ă remercier lâorganisme La Sortie pour son aide quand jâĂ©tais sur le point de faire une rechute. Ils mâont beaucoup aidĂ© au niveau de lâaccompagnement dans mes dĂ©marches pour mâen sortir.